








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1420 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1272 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1025 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,235 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaL | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Kebab2g | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | dAllas__ | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | ekanツ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Neck | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kebab2g | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | dAllas__ | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | ekanツ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Neck | 38% | 21 |
| #6 | karregg | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dAllas__ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Kebab2g | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Neck | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | karregg | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dAllas__ | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ReaL | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ekanツ | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Neck | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kebab2g | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab2g | +1.85 | 78 | 47 |
| #2 | karregg | +1.54 | 75 | 41 |
| #3 | dAllas__ | +1.16 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | ♛XyZ✌ | +0.40 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | ReaL | -0.46 | 50 | 60 |





