








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5368 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2466 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2628 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3281 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,129 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwUChan | 61% | 108 |
| #2 | dusk | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | JONALD | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | exhale | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | knucklehead | 55% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | exhale | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | knucklehead | 55% | 86 |
| #6 | Funhouse | 53% | 171 |
| #7 | gangstathug | 51% | 37 |
| #8 | Retro 6amer 666 | 49% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funhouse | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Retro 6amer 666 | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | UwUChan | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | knucklehead | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | dusk | 5 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knucklehead | 407 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Retro 6amer 666 | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Funhouse | 168 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | UwUChan | 122 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | JONALD | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knucklehead | +4.10 | 62 | 59 |
| #2 | Dero | +3.01 | 33 | 59 |
| #3 | UwUChan | +2.31 | 39 | 34 |
| #4 | dusk | +1.73 | 43 | 10 |
| #5 | exhale | +0.73 | 52 | 36 |





