








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 722 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1381 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,299 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no me gusta | 53% | 171 |
| #2 | Retro 6amer 666 | 44% | 194 |
| #3 | Jesica | 44% | 126 |
| #4 | AbdulRasharMuhammedMopedTheThird | 43% | 58 |
| #5 | ♥ Kiyomi! ♥ | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no me gusta | 665 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | ♥ Kiyomi! ♥ | 282 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Retro 6amer 666 | 213 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jesica | 133 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | AbdulRasharMuhammedMopedTheThird | 40 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Kiyomi! ♥ | +3.98 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | no me gusta | +2.41 | 33 | 65 |
| #3 | Jesica | +1.78 | 41 | 36 |
| #4 | AbdulRasharMuhammedMopedTheThird | +1.24 | 61 | 44 |
| #5 | Retro 6amer 666 | -1.47 | 21 | 47 |





