








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4881 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5423 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3925 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4674 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,987 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chuckie Finster | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | MattHancho | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | dKr | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Worst Headache Ever | 49% | 256 |
| #5 | Sippington City? | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MattHancho | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | dKr | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Worst Headache Ever | 49% | 256 |
| #5 | Sippington City? | 49% | 102 |
| #6 | Average Roblox Streamer | 37% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worst Headache Ever | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | MattHancho | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Average Roblox Streamer | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | dKr | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Chuckie Finster | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattHancho | 644 | 0.34 | 22 min |
| #2 | Worst Headache Ever | 566 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Sippington City? | 548 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | dKr | 461 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | Average Roblox Streamer | 338 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattHancho | +2.28 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | Chuckie Finster | +0.97 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | dKr | +0.85 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | Loop | -0.40 | 48 | 78 |
| #5 | Worst Headache Ever | -0.43 | 56 | 71 |





