








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 668 | 32% |
| Smokes | 601 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 384 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,376 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zei | 95% | 20 |
| #2 | NIXU | 84% | 19 |
| #3 | Zayone | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Railgone | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | matku | 76% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | |ℬ| Count McX | 75% | 4 |
| #8 | Rinezki | 75% | 4 |
| #9 | PETE | 71% | 14 |
| #10 | 66 | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | jolan;b | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepi | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | zei | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | matku | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | |ℬ| Count McX | 1 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matku | 185 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lepi | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | zei | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | NIXU | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Railgone | 41 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zei | +3.91 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | matku | +1.95 | 77 | 79 |
| #3 | SKRT | +1.89 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | Lepi | +1.35 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | NIXU | +1.15 | 79 | 63 |





