








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4354 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4069 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4558 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4494 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $936,934 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemaaal | 57% | 84 |
| #2 | alvarobodegon | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | QueixoDeTetilla | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | Brad Pitt | 48% | 211 |
| #5 | balinho23 | 47% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | QueixoDeTetilla | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | Brad Pitt | 48% | 211 |
| #5 | balinho23 | 47% | 167 |
| #6 | Fr1sbee | 45% | 297 |
| #7 | As Aforas (Negreira) | 43% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemaaal | 27 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | balinho23 | 22 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | As Aforas (Negreira) | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Fr1sbee | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Brad Pitt | 11 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr1sbee | 1376 | 0.23 | 31 min |
| #2 | As Aforas (Negreira) | 794 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | Brad Pitt | 562 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | balinho23 | 463 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | lemaaal | 274 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brad Pitt | +1.66 | 53 | 68 |
| #2 | balinho23 | +1.65 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | A Baña | +1.31 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | QueixoDeTetilla | +0.79 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | alvarobodegon | -1.06 | 61 | 35 |





