










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2546 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4081 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1775 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2966 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,511 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | String Bean | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Spence | 59% | 81 |
| #3 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | oneFLiM | 53% | 201 |
| #5 | -Icarus | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | oneFLiM | 53% | 201 |
| #5 | -Icarus | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | Bnaugs | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Nova | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spence | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Nova | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | oneFLiM | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | -Icarus | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Bnaugs | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oneFLiM | 395 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Spence | 366 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | String Bean | 147 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nova | 135 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 117 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oneFLiM | +2.85 | 84 | 49 |
| #2 | String Bean | +1.48 | 69 | 78 |
| #3 | Nova | +0.08 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | NuTTy | +0.07 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | -Icarus | -0.33 | 75 | 65 |





