








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3731 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2084 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3317 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,610 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memester | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Dracula | 61% | 79 |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 60% | 67 |
| #5 | Kraemer | 59% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kraemer | 59% | 166 |
| #6 | Dangerous | 58% | 135 |
| #7 | Private | 54% | 52 |
| #8 | Pulley™ | 51% | 88 |
| #9 | SwiiftBomb | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dangerous | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Kraemer | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pulley™ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Memester | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kraemer | 697 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dangerous | 251 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 245 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pulley™ | 202 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jewbrokit | 170 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +3.80 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Memester | +1.16 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | ajstug | +1.07 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Dangerous | +1.00 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | Kraemer | +0.88 | 56 | 72 |





