








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 863 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6477 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5716 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5880 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5473 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,541,766 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 54% | 230 |
| #2 | korkinavaaja | 53% | 223 |
| #3 | NEBBA | 51% | 188 |
| #4 | Leo | 49% | 368 |
| #5 | JoKeR | 49% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | korkinavaaja | 53% | 223 |
| #3 | NEBBA | 51% | 188 |
| #4 | Leo | 49% | 368 |
| #5 | JoKeR | 49% | 338 |
| #6 | Stinky | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 79 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | el sassquatch | 74 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | korkinavaaja | 24 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | JoKeR | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | NEBBA | 16 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 846 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | NEBBA | 574 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | korkinavaaja | 544 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Leo | 527 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | JoKeR | 395 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | +2.24 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | haz | +0.48 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | el sassquatch | +0.46 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | NEBBA | -0.61 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | JoKeR | -0.83 | 33 | 53 |





