








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1541 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2257 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1280 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,790 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4rkLord | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | hesoyam | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Matt_Autism | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | el sassquatch | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Leo | 51% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Robby | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | haz | 49% | 68 |
| #10 | korkinavaaja | 48% | 29 |
| #11 | JoKeR | 48% | 128 |
| #12 | NEBBA | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 26 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Leo | 19 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | JoKeR | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | haz | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | NEBBA | 3 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 340 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Leo | 167 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | JoKeR | 157 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | haz | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | D4rkLord | 75 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | +3.27 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | haz | +1.13 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | el sassquatch | +0.71 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | -0.00 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | hesoyam | -0.55 | 54 | 71 |





