








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1073 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11626 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6831 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 11388 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3738 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,106,373 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PERSERKKI | 56% | 86 |
| #2 | haz | 53% | 223 |
| #3 | NEBBA | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | Leo | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | the prank : | 51% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Leo | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | the prank : | 51% | 154 |
| #6 | SuTKi | 50% | 126 |
| #7 | el sassquatch | 49% | 321 |
| #8 | JoKeR | 49% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 89 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | haz | 30 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Leo | 23 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | NEBBA | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | JoKeR | 11 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 1045 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | NEBBA | 545 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | haz | 376 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | JoKeR | 221 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | PERSERKKI | 215 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | +3.29 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | el sassquatch | +1.27 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | haz | +1.22 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | the prank : | +0.75 | 75 | 24 |
| #5 | PERSERKKI | +0.65 | 72 | 64 |





