








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3158 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2415 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3985 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3115 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,451,287 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | korkinavaaja | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Stinky | 51% | 112 |
| #3 | Matt_Autism | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Übermacht | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | NEBBA | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | haz | 49% | 368 |
| #7 | Robby | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | JoKeR | 48% | 307 |
| #9 | el sassquatch | 46% | 163 |
| #10 | eLchamillion | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | 42 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | haz | 30 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | JoKeR | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | NEBBA | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haz | 777 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | el sassquatch | 587 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | JoKeR | 373 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | NEBBA | 188 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | +2.47 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Übermacht | +0.90 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | haz | -0.17 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | el sassquatch | -0.35 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | Matt_Autism | -0.74 | 68 | 52 |





