








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 179 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1856 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,275 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Navarro | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | dragonst4r | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | w1Ld | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | apehandler | 61% | 88 |
| #5 | Na1s | 59% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BuliOracle | 57% | 134 |
| #9 | CiKa उ | 56% | 87 |
| #10 | Iancu Rasta | 56% | 18 |
| #11 | seveNastyaa | 55% | 110 |
| #12 | Samil™ | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 13 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | BuliOracle | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | dragonst4r | 11 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Na1s | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | CiKa उ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 456 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Na1s | 393 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | BuliOracle | 314 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | seveNastyaa | 209 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | dragonst4r | 204 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dragonst4r | +3.67 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Jbiti | +3.58 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | +1.27 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | apehandler | +0.69 | 69 | 78 |
| #5 | Weakling | +0.19 | 58 | 58 |





