








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 855 | 31% |
| Smokes | 661 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 628 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,204 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ?๐๐ ๐จ๐๐? | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Batato | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | ๐|๐ g0dr0y | 48% | 88 |
| #7 | goose_ | 48% | 42 |
| #8 | geerod | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐|๐ g0dr0y | 65 | 0.0349 |
| #2 | goose_ | 10 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Batato | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | ?๐๐ ๐จ๐๐? | 3 | 0.0250 |
| #5 | ็งใฏใใชใใฎๅ
่ผฉใงใ | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goose_ | 201 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | ๐|๐ g0dr0y | 186 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Batato | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ็งใฏใใชใใฎๅ
่ผฉใงใ | 59 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | ?๐๐ ๐จ๐๐? | 37 | 0.31 | 1 min |





