








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 535 | 26% |
| Smokes | 519 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 384 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,221 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pugs | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | skbzh | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | goose_ | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | geerod | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Woogway | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | geerod | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Woogway | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | MUUUN | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | rey | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Ryukai | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skbzh | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Woogway | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | rey | 1 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | pugs | 1 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUUUN | 60 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | goose_ | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | skbzh | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | pugs | 21 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ryukai | 19 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geerod | +6.34 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | pugs | +5.19 | 91 | 85 |
| #3 | Ryukai | +2.66 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | goose_ | +2.27 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | MUUUN | +0.90 | 76 | 54 |





