








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 548 | 35% |
| Smokes | 320 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 661 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,119 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | skbzh | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | goose_ | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Batato | 46% | 46 |
| #6 | ?𝕃𝕠𝕨𝕂𝕚? | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | geerod | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goose_ | 11 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | skbzh | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ?𝕃𝕠𝕨𝕂𝕚? | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | Batato | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | geerod | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skbzh | 227 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | goose_ | 219 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Batato | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ?𝕃𝕠𝕨𝕂𝕚? | 66 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | catch me in dallas | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |





