








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 465 | 22% |
| Smokes | 645 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,607 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MachJesus | 46% | 93 |
| #2 | Oh Yeah | 44% | 112 |
| #3 | Frooty Yummy Mommy | 42% | 100 |
| #4 | mmm creamy | 38% | 73 |
| #5 | DeadManWalking | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Frooty Yummy Mommy | 42% | 100 |
| #4 | mmm creamy | 38% | 73 |
| #5 | DeadManWalking | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Resolution | 33% | 78 |
| #7 | notnat | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oh Yeah | 31 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Frooty Yummy Mommy | 17 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | mmm creamy | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Resolution | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | MachJesus | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmm creamy | 296 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Resolution | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Oh Yeah | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Frooty Yummy Mommy | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | MachJesus | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmm creamy | +6.76 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | ShruggedUser | +0.62 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | MachJesus | +0.45 | 64 | 31 |
| #4 | Resolution | -0.47 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | Frooty Yummy Mommy | -1.53 | 41 | 44 |





