








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1309 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2152 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1626 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,558 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epidydemis | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Trash 2 | 68% | 68 |
| #3 | Sid3 | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | Mørnaren | 65% | 124 |
| #5 | Buskas | 63% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mørnaren | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Trash 2 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Rambobeaver007 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Sid3 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Johnny-Anton | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowskilled | +4.78 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Trash 2 | +0.49 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Mr. White | +0.24 | 71 | 31 |
| #4 | Sid3 | +0.02 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Buskas | -0.11 | 52 | 70 |





