








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1824 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2291 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,147 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr1se | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | JonnE | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Christian | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | GiroMeister | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | hgWellsy | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr1se | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | JonnE | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Christian | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | GiroMeister | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | hgWellsy | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonnE | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Christian | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | hgWellsy | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | GiroMeister | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonnE | 538 | 0.39 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kr1se | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | GiroMeister | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Christian | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | hgWellsy | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr1se | +2.98 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Christian | +1.00 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | JonnE | +0.84 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | GiroMeister | +0.60 | 45 | 56 |
| #5 | hgWellsy | +0.42 | 77 | 26 |





