








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3493 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3507 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3507 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3259 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,611 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexxxxx | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | p!ⒸO ®™ | 63% | 54 |
| #3 | Cinimoddd | 60% | 93 |
| #4 | KAPPA | 59% | 175 |
| #5 | Deer_X | 59% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAPPA | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Deer_X | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | p!ⒸO ®™ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Ãmatèrasu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Dexxxxx | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAPPA | 422 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Deer_X | 384 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cinimoddd | 282 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | p!ⒸO ®™ | 233 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ãmatèrasu | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNyanCat217 | +3.51 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Cinimoddd | +2.47 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | KAPPA | +1.10 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | p!ⒸO ®™ | -0.19 | 57 | 77 |
| #5 | Ãmatèrasu | -0.20 | 74 | 55 |





