








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7371 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7824 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9254 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,511,494 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNyanCat217 | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | KAPPA | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Dexxxxx | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | KarMa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | naitou | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNyanCat217 | 620 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | KAPPA | 320 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Haku | 267 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ballex | 223 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♡ | 201 | 0.21 | 5 min |





