








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 256 | 27% |
| Smokes | 223 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 239 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 238 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,555 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussiposiolta | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Pete | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Aakestus | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | rain | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pete | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Aakestus | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | rain | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Artsih | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Vilperis | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aakestus | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | jussiposiolta | 1 | 0.0294 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 92 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | Vilperis | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | rain | 32 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aakestus | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Artsih | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aakestus | +3.13 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | jussiposiolta | +2.01 | 29 | 84 |
| #3 | Artsih | +0.55 | 28 | 53 |
| #4 | Pete | +0.28 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | +0.22 | 54 | 68 |





