








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2285 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1839 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,779 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussiposiolta | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | insaneHΓ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Pete | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Aakestus | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vilperis | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | insaneHΓ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Pete | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Aakestus | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vilperis | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Artsih | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jussiposiolta | 2 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Artsih | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vilperis | 78 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Aakestus | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Artsih | 52 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | jussiposiolta | 41 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | insaneHΓ | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aakestus | +3.04 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | jussiposiolta | +0.32 | 49 | 74 |
| #3 | πͺπ¦π©π¨π§π₯ | +0.00 | 56 | 69 |
| #4 | insaneHΓ | -0.82 | 47 | 68 |
| #5 | Pete | -0.82 | 59 | 59 |





