








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 332 | 17% |
| Smokes | 534 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,376 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pete | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Aakestus | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Vilperis | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | rain | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Aakestus | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Vilperis | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | rain | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | insaneHÖ | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Aakestus | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Vilperis | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | insaneHÖ | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | 205 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vilperis | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | rain | 48 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aakestus | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | insaneHÖ | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aakestus | +2.82 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | 🟪🟦🟩🟨🟧🟥 | +2.47 | 53 | 73 |
| #3 | insaneHÖ | +2.07 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | Pete | -0.25 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | Artsih | -1.31 | 34 | 57 |





