








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1675 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3777 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,334 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ewas | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | caed | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | juked | 49% | 241 |
| #4 | Champyon | 48% | 151 |
| #5 | bungpoo (buttcrack <3) | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Champyon | 48% | 151 |
| #5 | bungpoo (buttcrack <3) | 48% | 83 |
| #6 | nicBOT | 44% | 111 |
| #7 | ZachJr | 42% | 96 |
| #8 | into the black infinity | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungpoo (buttcrack <3) | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | juked | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Champyon | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | nicBOT | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | caed | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juked | 418 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | ZachJr | 335 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | ewas | 199 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Champyon | 136 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | nicBOT | 109 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juked | +3.79 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | ewas | +1.88 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | caed | +0.61 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | bungpoo (buttcrack <3) | -0.04 | 64 | 39 |
| #5 | Champyon | -0.73 | 71 | 47 |





