








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 443 | 22% |
| Smokes | 572 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 557 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,059 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caed | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | ewas | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | juked | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | Champyon | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | DannyBRaps | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DannyBRaps | 48% | 83 |
| #6 | DepyJr | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | ZachJr | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | nicBOT | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | into the black infinity | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Champyon | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | juked | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | DannyBRaps | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | caed | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juked | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | DannyBRaps | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | caed | 58 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ewas | 57 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZachJr | 51 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juked | +4.11 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | ewas | +1.09 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | caed | +0.62 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | bungpoo (buttcrack <3) | +0.00 | 63 | 40 |
| #5 | Champyon | -1.00 | 63 | 35 |





