










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4144 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6142 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3480 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5294 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,520 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fushi | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | juked | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | tyche | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | DannyBRaps | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr Dill Doe | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |





