








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2817 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2455 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2212 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,120 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manx^ | 63% | 123 |
| #2 | HolowTK | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | klay | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | BlocK | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | So-Ej | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manx^ | 63% | 123 |
| #2 | HolowTK | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | klay | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | BlocK | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | So-Ej | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlocK | 11 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | manx^ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | HolowTK | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | klay | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manx^ | 508 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | HolowTK | 269 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | BlocK | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | So-Ej | 81 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | klay | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlocK | +3.34 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | manx^ | +3.18 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | HolowTK | +1.80 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | klay | -0.37 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | So-Ej | -0.67 | 68 | 50 |





