








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3132 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3072 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1961 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3274 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,572,318 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roomba looking for crumbs | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | MooN | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | montauk00 | 56% | 91 |
| #4 | coldhand kelpy | 54% | 210 |
| #5 | manx^ | 53% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coldhand kelpy | 41 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | MooN | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | manx^ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | montauk00 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Donuts | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlocK | +2.27 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | montauk00 | +1.89 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | coldhand kelpy | +1.78 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | manx^ | -0.11 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | So-Ej | -1.63 | 64 | 51 |





