








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 451 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9188 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8243 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 15187 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3794 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,509,185 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senseisean | Clash.GG | 59% | 220 |
| #2 | Kdub | 57% | 427 |
| #3 | zx. BARRRRRRIN' | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | jsrwr | 55% | 173 |
| #5 | Uncle Roger | 52% | 434 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Roger | 38 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ChattyMarshmallow | 23 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | jsrwr | 21 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Kdub | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | zx. BARRRRRRIN' | 14 | 0.0052 |





