








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 290 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4557 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6029 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4155 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2989 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,435,476 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senseisean | Clash.GG | 56% | 159 |
| #2 | Kdub | 53% | 334 |
| #3 | Thick Water | 52% | 434 |
| #4 | ObesePacman | 48% | 98 |
| #5 | ChattyMarshmallow | 47% | 420 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick Water | 14 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ChattyMarshmallow | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kdub | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Senseisean | Clash.GG | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ObesePacman | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ObesePacman | +2.40 | 60 | 56 |
| #2 | Uncle Roger | +2.33 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | Thick Water | +1.87 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Senseisean | Clash.GG | +1.52 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | Kdub | -0.54 | 67 | 59 |





