








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 265 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4052 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4651 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5730 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4713 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,422,657 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 904 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Thick Water | 57% | 427 |
| #4 | ObesePacman | 55% | 221 |
| #5 | ChattyMarshmallow | 55% | 459 |
| #6 | Uncle Roger | 53% | 334 |
| #7 | Thickest Water | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ObesePacman | +3.11 | 61 | 59 |
| #2 | Uncle Roger | +2.99 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | Senseisean | Clash.GG | +2.67 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | Thick Water | +2.61 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Thickest Water | +2.08 | 67 | 64 |





