








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4398 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5351 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1533 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,743 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tie | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Montz | 53% | 96 |
| #3 | dirt | 52% | 146 |
| #4 | KingChico | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | Biscuits | 50% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biscuits | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | KingChico | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Montz | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Cat In Shoes | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biscuits | 1079 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 1010 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | KingChico | 807 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #4 | Montz | 277 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | dirt | 193 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tie | +4.50 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Montz | +1.45 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Haydnsmovingcastle | +1.09 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Biscuits | +0.98 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | KingChico | +0.52 | 72 | 66 |





