








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4188 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2354 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4347 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2549 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,175,900 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 54% | 193 |
| #2 | McNuggets destroyer | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | TheVu|pez | 52% | 146 |
| #4 | Vulps | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Biscuits | 51% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Montz | 46% | 63 |
| #11 | Cat In Shoes | 46% | 331 |
| #12 | koa1a dni | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | Tie | 45% | 33 |
| #14 | kappakappa | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biscuits | 20 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | KingChico | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Cat In Shoes | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Montz | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingChico | 1675 | 0.30 | 39 min |
| #2 | Biscuits | 1214 | 0.29 | 28 min |
| #3 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 1017 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #4 | Pun|- | 701 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #5 | TheVu|pez | 403 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tie | +2.83 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | Montz | +2.04 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Biscuits | +1.77 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Haydnsmovingcastle | +1.66 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | KingChico | +1.39 | 76 | 65 |





