








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4274 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3429 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2980 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,831 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldur | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | BEGE | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | Tie | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 60% | 65 |
| #5 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 59% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | KingChico | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | dirt | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Cat In Shoes | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | TheVu|pez | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingChico | 662 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 429 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | Pun|- | 310 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | TheVu|pez | 271 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Biscuits | 255 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tie | +2.74 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | Montz | +1.71 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Blood | +1.61 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Haydnsmovingcastle | +1.34 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | Biscuits | +1.13 | 73 | 62 |





