








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 891 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18133 | 35% |
| Smokes | 13991 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 11562 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7999 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,520 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | kappakappa | 56% | 88 |
| #3 | Biscuits | 55% | 181 |
| #4 | dirt | 54% | 193 |
| #5 | _Sparkje | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biscuits | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | KingChico | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dirt | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Cat In Shoes | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | TheVu|pez | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingChico | 1435 | 0.30 | 33 min |
| #2 | Biscuits | 1010 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #3 | Pun|- | 806 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | TheVu|pez | 682 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #5 | dirt | 346 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _Sparkje | +1.94 | 84 | 82 |
| #2 | Montz | +1.49 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Haydnsmovingcastle | +1.44 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | Biscuits | +1.11 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | KingChico | +0.98 | 76 | 64 |





