








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3400 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3054 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2425 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,161 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumple | 50% | 237 |
| #2 | Floaty | 50% | 248 |
| #3 | TheCraZe | 48% | 159 |
| #4 | Phongiloid | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | BRANFLAKES | 48% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Floaty | 50% | 248 |
| #3 | TheCraZe | 48% | 159 |
| #4 | Phongiloid | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | BRANFLAKES | 48% | 172 |
| #6 | Sean Cody | 40% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floaty | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Chumple | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TheCraZe | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BRANFLAKES | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Sean Cody | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floaty | 830 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Chumple | 735 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | TheCraZe | 333 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Phongiloid | 48 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | BRANFLAKES | 40 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumple | +2.99 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Meck | +2.47 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Floaty | +1.54 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Phongiloid | +0.98 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | BRANFLAKES | -3.82 | 33 | 34 |





