








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 223 | 6% |
| Smokes | 912 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1407 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,893 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumple | 49% | 162 |
| #2 | Meck | 48% | 172 |
| #3 | Floaty | 47% | 201 |
| #4 | TheCraZe | 42% | 91 |
| #5 | Sean Cody | 25% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumple | 49% | 162 |
| #2 | Meck | 48% | 172 |
| #3 | Floaty | 47% | 201 |
| #4 | TheCraZe | 42% | 91 |
| #5 | Sean Cody | 25% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floaty | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Meck | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Chumple | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | TheCraZe | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sean Cody | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floaty | 669 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Chumple | 491 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Meck | 456 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | TheCraZe | 192 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sean Cody | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumple | +3.18 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Meck | +2.87 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | Floaty | +1.94 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | BRANFLAKES | -3.32 | 35 | 33 |
| #5 | TheCraZe | -4.51 | 38 | 53 |





