








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
81 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20 | 7% |
| Smokes | 78 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 98 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 104 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,574 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | BUGS BUNNY | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | xyp9x dad | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | stewiegriefn | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | BUGS BUNNY | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | xyp9x dad | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | stewiegriefn | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | BUGS BUNNY | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | xyp9x dad | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Canfush | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyp9x dad | 85 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 52 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | BUGS BUNNY | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Canfush | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | stewiegriefn | 7 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | +11.79 | 93 | 32 |
| #2 | xyp9x dad | +2.50 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | BUGS BUNNY | -0.46 | 34 | 52 |
| #4 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | -1.04 | 43 | 62 |
| #5 | stewiegriefn | -2.66 | 67 | 57 |





