








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 723 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14100 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9034 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6341 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7058 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,833,658 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1051 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | 51% | 527 |
| #2 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 44% | 203 |
| #3 | BUGS BUNNY | 44% | 158 |
| #4 | IcyDawg | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | »★« Pέ𝐏𝕣 » | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 44% | 203 |
| #3 | BUGS BUNNY | 44% | 158 |
| #4 | IcyDawg | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | »★« Pέ𝐏𝕣 » | 41% | 56 |
| #6 | stewiegriefn | 35% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | 83 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 38 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | BUGS BUNNY | 17 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | »★« Pέ𝐏𝕣 » | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | IcyDawg | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | 1685 | 0.16 | 48 min |
| #2 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | 1316 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #3 | »★« Pέ𝐏𝕣 » | 316 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #4 | BUGS BUNNY | 305 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | stewiegriefn | 168 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canfush | +4.38 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | IcyDawg | +1.82 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | stewiegriefn | +0.56 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | xyp9x dad | -0.52 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | Dey Killed Kenny#FreePalestine | -1.61 | 38 | 65 |





