








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 408 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2688 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1842 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3205 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3239 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,625,510 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Diskus | 54% | 83 |
| #2 | Dyno Paps | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Hansen | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Don Eugenio H. Cangrejo | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | kung fu kenny | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dyno Paps | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Hansen | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Don Eugenio H. Cangrejo | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | kung fu kenny | 41% | 22 |
| #6 | Papa Viku | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Eugenio H. Cangrejo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Dyno Paps | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansen | 109 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dr. Diskus | 105 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Papa Viku | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dyno Paps | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | kung fu kenny | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansen | +1.45 | 59 | 83 |
| #2 | Pablo | +1.07 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Papa Viku | +0.99 | 88 | 64 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | +0.92 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | Dr. Diskus | +0.22 | 51 | 58 |





