








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 408 | 28% |
| Smokes | 314 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,270 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | churp * | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Buddyyyyy | 89% | 18 |
| #3 | ✪ Noogey™ | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Famoose | 83% | 18 |
| #5 | haren | 83% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | haren | 83% | 53 |
| #6 | Talentless | 80% | 20 |
| #7 | Luda | 75% | 4 |
| #8 | mad3sto | 74% | 43 |
| #9 | m1nt | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad3sto | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Buddyyyyy | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | haren | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | churp * | 2 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | Talentless | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad3sto | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Talentless | 112 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | haren | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Famoose | 80 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Buddyyyyy | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talentless | +2.30 | 80 | 84 |
| #2 | kristian | +2.29 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | haren | +1.61 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | churp * | +1.49 | 96 | 52 |
| #5 | Famoose | +1.28 | 78 | 51 |





