








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1779 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1946 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2281 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,348 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristian | 83% | 53 |
| #2 | Buddyyyyy | 76% | 29 |
| #3 | mad3sto | 60% | 281 |
| #4 | Talentless | 60% | 139 |
| #5 | Famoose | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mad3sto | 60% | 281 |
| #4 | Talentless | 60% | 139 |
| #5 | Famoose | 59% | 46 |
| #6 | Luda | 58% | 74 |
| #7 | 5ushi | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad3sto | 32 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Talentless | 17 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Buddyyyyy | 9 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Luda | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | kristian | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad3sto | 786 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | Talentless | 747 | 0.28 | 19 min |
| #3 | Luda | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Famoose | 150 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | kristian | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristian | +2.30 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | mad3sto | +2.02 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | haren | +1.67 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | 5ushi | +1.59 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Talentless | +0.92 | 75 | 77 |





