








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1831 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1869 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2183 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,353 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 469 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sTeΛL.- ☬ | 78% | 37 |
| #2 | NiKoSS ☬ | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | Pancho_Villa | 76% | 25 |
| #4 | monohaki | 75% | 16 |
| #5 | ☬Gioo | 75% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 67% | 193 |
| #9 | Massacre | 61% | 31 |
| #10 | beLieve.! | 58% | 64 |
| #11 | eduaR; ☬ | 53% | 30 |
| #12 | andreu2k ☬ | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beLieve.! | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ☬Gioo | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | ImXavi ☬ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Massacre | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 891 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | ☬Gioo | 513 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | ImXavi ☬ | 397 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | beLieve.! | 270 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | sTeΛL.- ☬ | 176 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massacre | +2.03 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Alaric Dell ☬ | +1.72 | 65 | 81 |
| #3 | ☬Gioo | +1.58 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | ImXavi ☬ | +1.38 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Pancho_Villa | +1.17 | 76 | 58 |





