








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5407 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4747 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1873 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3248 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,660 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sky ☬ | 87% | 31 |
| #2 | Zenith ☬ | 85% | 27 |
| #3 | UnTalKlaus ☬ | 84% | 19 |
| #4 | ~sebastian ֎ | 82% | 33 |
| #5 | ;Apology ☬ | 81% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | NiKoSS ☬ | 65% | 17 |
| #20 | ᄊノζんム乇レ ^^ | 64% | 22 |
| #21 | AR'kinG♛ | 60% | 20 |
| #22 | eduaR; ☬ | 57% | 23 |
| #23 | Nuxe | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hfxits☬ | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Pancho_Villa | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ~sebastian ֎ | 4 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 889 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | ImXavi ☬ | 337 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Señor Vac | 256 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pancho_Villa | 204 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | hfxits☬ | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sky ☬ | +2.88 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | ツGOD_SKツ | +2.85 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | ☬Gioo | +2.57 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | GhostY | +2.48 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Nz Jukaッ | +2.16 | 81 | 59 |





