








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 840 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 477 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




165 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4663 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2935 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2975 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3014 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,346,307 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alchemy | 88% | 57 |
| #2 | Rise | 85% | 54 |
| #3 | The Neg0tiator | 83% | 42 |
| #4 | AndyJ | 82% | 44 |
| #5 | Midnight | 81% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zerstörung | 72% | 53 |
| #9 | Izz ⇄ | 66% | 61 |
| #10 | King Salt | 60% | 148 |
| #11 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 57% | 54 |
| #12 | kita | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerstörung | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | kita | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Rise | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | King Salt | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Izz ⇄ | 167 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zerstörung | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | AndyJ | 85 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rise | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alchemy | +7.08 | 97 | 66 |
| #2 | Rise | +5.42 | 92 | 67 |
| #3 | Zerstörung | +5.01 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | moth♥ | +3.52 | 93 | 37 |
| #5 | homo"sapien"(gone prehistoric) | +2.92 | 81 | 52 |





