








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




144 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 966 | 22% |
| Smokes | 438 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2436 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,192 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomer5749 | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | 86 | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | Sensful | 46% | 382 |
| #4 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 43% | 187 |
| #5 | sophisticatedgoose52 | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sophisticatedgoose52 | 39% | 62 |
| #6 | PP | 39% | 57 |
| #7 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 37% | 139 |
| #8 | Jropz | 32% | 76 |
| #9 | happyisland | 30% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensful | 127 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | sophisticatedgoose52 | 14 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | Jropz | 10 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 436 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sensful | 374 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | 86 | 207 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 174 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | sophisticatedgoose52 | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 86 | +8.39 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Sensful | +4.26 | 95 | 40 |
| #3 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | +1.15 | 33 | 48 |
| #4 | PP | +0.87 | 50 | 42 |
| #5 | (82)M4Y-s3n | -0.09 | 36 | 37 |





