








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2889 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2230 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2143 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2061 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,806 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pewexxx | 55% | 22 |
| #7 | pszczola | 52% | 79 |
| #8 | Chris Paul | 52% | 220 |
| #9 | HOPMON | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | Stay High | 47% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Paul | 38 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | mihal | 19 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ewile | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Ego | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Pewexxx | 6 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Paul | 840 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | mihal | 646 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #3 | Ego | 191 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stay High | 162 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | ewile | 159 | 0.04 | 4 min |





