








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 23% |
| Smokes | 559 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 375 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 706 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,996 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $hyemah4wB | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | pszczola | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Ego | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | ewile | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | mihal | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ewile | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | mihal | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | Chris Paul | 48% | 69 |
| #7 | Emeryt Profesor Was | 47% | 128 |
| #8 | HOPMON | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Paul | 13 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Emeryt Profesor Was | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ewile | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | mihal | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | $hyemah4wB | 3 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emeryt Profesor Was | 345 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chris Paul | 286 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | mihal | 184 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #4 | ewile | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ego | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego | +7.23 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | mihal | +1.84 | 51 | 76 |
| #3 | Emeryt Profesor Was | +1.59 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | ewile | +0.61 | 81 | 42 |
| #5 | $hyemah4wB | +0.36 | 75 | 32 |





