








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6738 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5676 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2574 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3822 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,363 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chris Paul | 51% | 349 |
| #5 | HOPMON | 50% | 108 |
| #6 | Ego | 50% | 118 |
| #7 | Stay High | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | pszczola | 47% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Paul | 101 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | ewile | 51 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | HOPMON | 17 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Ego | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | pszczola | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Paul | 1484 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | Ego | 341 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ewile | 293 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | Emeryt Profesor Was | 285 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | HOPMON | 219 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego | +3.92 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | mihal | +2.90 | 59 | 70 |
| #3 | Emeryt Profesor Was | +0.70 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | ewile | +0.62 | 83 | 44 |
| #5 | Chris Paul | -0.87 | 52 | 61 |





